William of Orange has graced us by becoming the latest member of the family. Unlike Mr. E., whose true name is still unknown to us, William announced his royal status right off the bat.
We were not surprised. His regal bearing, discriminating air, and sense of entitlement bespeak a noble birth.
When offered the title of Assistant to the Head of Townhome Security, he declined, saying he would accept nothing lower than First Secretary, with benefits. Appointment awaits creation of the sinecure.
Meanwhile, he lounges about the castle, disappearing every afternoon for a siesta. We suspect he’s under the bed. Efforts to rouse him are fruitless unless accompanied by the rattling of silverware. His state is kingly, and we only stand and wait.
And yet questions remain.
William sometimes fails to display the dignity expected of the high-born. The very night of his arrival, he engaged in a reenactment of the Indy 500. On the bed. For about four hours straight. Without headlights. We weren’t sure whether he was chasing Mr. E. or Mr. E. was chasing him. Granted, Mr. E. is probably Earl Grey parading as a commoner, and as such is an acceptable companion to a king.
But when one is playing the part of the racetrack, one does not welcome such a Glorious Revolution. We were not amused.
Certain other lapses, as well, give pause–the perching on chair backs, the thinly veiled attempts to engage Mr. E. in combat, the Jesse Ventura-like deportment as he and Mr. E. roll about the floor. Certainly not the stuff kings are made of.
And not once when we’ve put our arms around him has the BBC accused us of breaching etiquette.
In fact, we suspect that, since he is actually a cream tabby, the putative William of Orange is, in truth, William of Orange Cream Soda, Pretender to the Throne.
Nonetheless, in the meritocracy to which he now belongs, William of Orange doesn’t need to pretend. In possession of full rank and title, he reigns–jointly, of course, with Mr. E.–supreme.
P.S. William of Orange, like Mr. E., came to us from Austin Pets Alive! A lot of his friends there need homes.